Expectancy Violation theory in Networking

Networking. It is one of the most important, if not the most important, part of any sales career. But what if you have never had to network before? What if you get high anxiety in situations where you know no one and are more comfortable keeping to yourself? Speaking from experience, I know networking is hard for many people. This blog will be a guideline to helping young professionals get into the groove of networking and how to not violate expectations.

The first item to note is personal space. Our personal space is important to us as human beings. Do any of you remember the rule we learned early on about being 18 inches away from people so you don’t violate other’s personal space? Maybe that was just my weird geography teacher attempting to give us some great advice. But he was right. People like their space. Personal space is typically defined by culture. For example, in Japan people bow and do not shake hands. But in Europe many people kiss each other on the cheeks. But in the United States it is typically a hand shake. I probably would not walk up to someone at a mixer and kiss them on the cheek or bow; I would give them a nice firm handshake. If I did bow I would probably be violating their expectations because I would be violating their personal space.

The next item is Expectations. We all expect certain outcomes and occurrences. We predict what is going to happen, thus creating expectations. Expectations go hand in hand with the context of the situation. We expect our family to give us hugs. We expect to shake someone’s hand when we meet them. How does it affect you when those things don’t happen? First of all, your expectations will be violated, which will then lead you to question the situation. Are they mad at me? Did they not want to shake my hand?

Another good example of this is if you were standing alone at a mixer and just walked up to a group of people in an intimate conversation. They are close, talking softly, and have themselves shut off from the rest of the group. They are expecting to not be bothered and put those non-verbal messages out there for everyone to see. If you went up and tried to start a conversation, you would probably make them uncomfortable. On the flip side, when attending mixers and networking events you expect to meet people. You know when you attend those events you are going to be shaking hands and sharing business cards. We all have expectations of how to behave. If I go to a networking event and I don’t meet anyone, my expectations are violated.

We all have a way of behaving with other people in different situations. Depending on what those situations are we have different expectations. In conclusion, remember personal space, and also remember your expectations of the situation you are in. Networking isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do but if you follow the norms, you will do just fine.