Genderlect Styles:Men really are from Mars and Women really are from Venus. An explanation of why it is good to be able to speak each other’s languages in business.

Are you a woman in business? Have you ever been called “whiney”? Have you ever been told “Now before I say this, I don’t want you to get all emotional about it”? How about “Oh, you are probably just looking into it, like most women do”? Are you a man in business? Have you ever been told “You are always trying to one up me”? What about “All you care about is yourself”? Have you ever been told “Ok, it’s not a competition”? Clearly, depending on your gender you have some sort of relation to these statements. I would like to introduce to you, drum role please, Genderlect styles.

Genderlect styles are an explanation of the communication behaviors of men and women. Genderlect refers to dialects men and women use, almost as if they are two different languages and understanding of those languages. Often men and women experience extreme amounts of miscommunication due to the fact that they don’t speak the same language (hence, men are from Mars, women are from Venus). Since it is 2012 and women are in the work place more than ever, it is vital that these two sexes learn each others language. In fact, by women learning Martian and men learning Venetian there will be much more cohesiveness within the group and the work place.

Let’s start with the Genderlect style of men. Some common characteristics of this dialect are report talk, competitiveness, public speaking, enjoyment of conflict, dominance, using “I” rather than “we” and masculine talk. Report talk is like reporting the news. Men typically like to flaunt what they have done or did with their lives. Of course men can be competitive, enjoy conflict, be dominant and masculine.

Now on to the Genderlect style of women. Some common characteristics of their dialect are; rapport talk, establishing connections, keeping the peace, including others, use “we” rather than “I”, inclusive language, powerless speech, and passivity. Rapport talk is when women establish connections by getting to know others. Women tend to be more passive in the work place and be focused on the group as a whole rather than themselves only. For example, a woman conducting a meeting will use inclusive language. “We all need to pull together to get this done”, “We need to work as a team” “We completed this together”. Men may use more exclusive language such as “I am proud to lead this team”, “I did this portion of the work”, “I will take the lead”.

While these often can get misconstrued, when each Genderlect is understood by the other they can get past all the wrong impressions and start working together to make their careers thrive. Each sex should be aware of their differences and accept them to really understand each other. Women and Men should both take a step back and evaluate how they can relate to each other more. This will ultimately create common ground for both, so they can be more aware of their surroundings and the communication that comes along with it. Even if men can get very independent and women can sometimes get too focused on making sure the group is happy, they both make a great mix to a company. 

Social Penetration Theory: Growing pains of starting a new job, an inside look at Social Penetration theory in the work place.

Here I am, first day on the job, spending one hour with each and every person to learn more about their “job duties.” As if starting a new job isn’t stressful as it is, let’s just spend an hour with a bunch of people you don’t know. I attempt to get to know many of the employees (I was hired to talk to people after all) and at this time I begin to realize many of these people are apprehensive about self disclosure. Our conversations are superficial and the depth of the conversation do not go much deeper than about work. Thankfully, I am a communication major and can recognize this communication theory point blank.

Social penetration theory is a common theory recognized within the communication field. This theory basically states that we as humans grow in our relationships through self-disclosure and intimate details. What exactly does this mean to you?  In the movie Shrek , the ogre talks to the donkey about how, he, like an onion has many layers.  The same goes for social penetration theory, we as humans have different levels of self-disclosure and intimacy, like an onion, that when penetrated deeper, we have a stronger bond within that relationship.

When first meeting a new person, it is highly unlikely you are going to tell them your life story. If you did tell someone your life story within the first five minutes of meeting them, you might get labeled as a weirdo  (word to the wise, do not tell your life story within first five minutes of meeting a new person.) It is more likely that you will cover surface topics like work or family or school. For instance, many people like to ask “So, where are you from?” or “What school did you go to?” Within social penetration theory these are all considered surface topics. I also like to call them “safe” topics. I call them “safe” topics because this is the foundation on which social penetration theory starts. We still can have our mask on without revealing too much information; we haven’t revealed our true self yet. The mask theory is one I will discuss later on in another blog post.

A good example for this theory is to look at your best friend or someone you have known for a long time. Your relationship is so deep that they know you like the back of their hand. You probably have a million memories with that person – good and bad and yet your relationship is so strong. At one time though, you probably started out asking “Where are you from?”. You didn’t just meet and all of the sudden you know everything about them. Relationships have to grow, evolve, and deepen over time. This is done by self-disclosure and revealing intimate details about one’s life.

Considering we spend the majority of our life at work, this theory plays a pretty big role in the work place and grooming new employees into the crowd. Through this theory, this is how we build relationships. We have to have relationships in order to be successful in our position. By deepening our relationships, we establish trust. When we establish trust we feel comfortable. For example, I work directly with a project manager. I bring in a project, and he manages it to make sure everything goes smoothly. If I did not trust him, I would not feel comfortable handing over my clients to him. He and I have spent plenty of time together, and I had the opportunity to get to know him better. Through self-disclosure I got to know what kind of a person he is, how he views clients and business, and what his values are. All of those are extremely important to me, so the way my partner viewed them was crucial.

Social penetration theory can be used in many different situations: School, social gatherings, and many more. In the work place social penetration theory has a clear place in success and relationships. We all are like onions; you just have to peal back the layers to get to the core.